mud howard – Ikea

crying in IKEA
your face framed
a black bob in a sea of geometric tears

crying in a shopping cart
going 50 mph
moving in together

crying on this fluorescent vacation
a bony Swedish hand wrapped around my shoulder
the gradual zipping up of every feeling inside me
building a home

i obsessively chop plastic garlic
in a this-could-be-yours kitchen book
the hot air that escapes your mouth brings on
a frantic sweat that seeps through the thin layer
of denim that I call jeans

sweating like a teenager
sobbing in the isles
weeping in the parking lot
a rapid collapse of any chance at public interaction
drive by cry
late at night
circling your house
weaving a seance out of the staunch glow of streetlights
the skipping CDs
the magic eyelids of the past year tattooed on my hands
shutting off
shutting down
ghosts are everywhere
making their noises

we are having a good cry
moving up a class
touching, but posed
put that way



mud howard is a non-binary trans writer who fiercely believes in the healing power of the selfie. mud curates pnk prl, a queer erasure zine, and GLOW, a bi-monthly queer poetry series. mud is a graduate of the low-res MFA Poetry Program at the IPRC in Portland. you can find their work in The Lifted Brow, pnk prl, and THEM literary journal. they love to lip sync, show up to the dance party early and paint their mustache turquoise.



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